Gone With The Stream

Nothing but pain

2008-03-29T18:10:00.004+08:00

Today is Adam's birthday. How could I forget? I'd even sent him a signet as a birthday gift. He was the guy that I'd crushed on for years. The feeling had stopped at the day I saw him the last time. He grew long hair and changed a bit after discharging from the military. I didn't know if he knew I liked him. But I was sure that he was not fond of me at all. I finally realized that there's no connection between us. My affection was vapored at the fraction of a second. A couple years ago, I accidentally knew he'd become a marry man through the computer data. It's so hard to imagine he plays the role of some woman's husband. It doesn't matter anymore. However, I regret that I've wasted so many years on carrying a torch, he and some other guys. I was completely a fool from start to finish. What have I got? Nothing but pain.

Sweet talk

2008-03-20T22:39:00.009+08:00

This woman, who is a new comer and sitting in the front of me, was wearing the same clothes every day. I noticed that from the first day she came. I thought I saw it wrong but she did the same thing on the second and the third day. But now I'm sure that she hadn't changed her sweater, which is not a heavy one, for four days. Only when I don't go home, do I wear the same clothes the next day. As far as I'm concerned, it's kind of embarrassment wearing exactly the same clothes even only for two days. It's like wearing an uniform but actually it's not. Maybe she has several pieces therefore she can wear a clean one each day. Another strange thing is that there are four men in this room. But mostly I could only hear one or two person's voices, the rest of them are wordless. It's so quiet to the point where I hardly could feel their existence. I can't hear them speaking or answering cellphones or making noises. They're just sitting there and doing their job quietly. And it's not a job for men in my opinion. How weired it is. I mean, they are guys not girls. Oridinary people don't seem behave like that. On the other hand, I asked D which one looked old, her mother or me? She said none of us. Then I said what made her talk so sweetly? She said because I treated her a sweet cookie that's why. What a lovely lovely girl she was!

Cozy

2008-03-13T21:21:00.016+08:00

Strictly speaking, the things we used to sit in the living is not a sofa, but wooden chairs, which are cold in winter and cool in summer. I honestly don't think them cozy at all, they hurt my butt sometimes. Most unbelievably, we'd spent decades on those stiff benches, and thought we might spent our lives on them forever. We weren't living in a park, where has no cozy chair at all. Only when I own sofas, do I know what really coziness is. It's like a dream come true. They make no difference from the outside, but make me feel good in the inside. Sofas mean heaven or a seat that makes me feel like heaven.

Furniture delivery

2008-03-12T22:55:00.014+08:00

This guy made an almost perfect impression on me till he didn't keep his promise that he should have called me around six. What's wrong with the youngsters in this day in age. Punctuality seems like a term of the last century. Nobody gives it a damn nowadays. Is it some kind of trendy or what? I was stood up last night, now the guy did again. I was a bit surprised because I thought he wouldn't have done that to the customers. And he shouldn't. There's nothing I could say especially he had good reasons. Anyway, the furniture delivered about forty five minutes late, and had been assembled for one hour. Despite being a skinny boy, he carried all pieces almost by himself. He told me that he'd been worked at a gas shop for eight years. Wow, that's quite a long time. Also, it's hard to imagine a tall and good-looking guy like him carrying a barrel of gas. No wonder he had no trouble to carry heavy stuff. But I still didn't understand why he's apt to do laborious jobs. I tried not to ask something too personal, but still questioned him if he would be staying in the furniture shop for some time. He thew the question to me at once. I said it's the place that he could learn something from his work. Didn't know if he could understand what I meant...

BBS gig

2008-03-11T23:42:00.011+08:00

I don't mean the gig was bad, but, honestly, I want my money back. Although standing at the great view of the venue, I didn't feel high at all. The main cause was I still couldn't hear the sounds clearly, as usual. I didn't understand why the problems hadn't been solved during the years. I mean all I could hear from the speakers were the instruments. Where had all the voices gone? On the other hand, why there must be a herd of smokers when it comes to an indoor gig. And why nine out of ten of gigs mustn't be punctual? Being late thirty minutes is a usual practice. Tonight was no exception. Then I couldn't help but ask, was I the only one who cared about time? I left around ten forty and noticed that nobody did the same thing. I was feeling tired and my feet was killing me to be honest. Didn't they all have vehicles of their own? Didn't they need to work or go to school the next day? Maybe some of them wanted to leave but the band wouldn't let them. Or they were too shy to move, or they could call the next day off. As far as I'm concerned, it's a nightmare that I had to walk twenty five minutes from the MRT station to home, before that it took me at least fifteen minutes from the venue to the station. I was exhausted, totally.

Sofas

2008-03-10T22:05:00.013+08:00

I guessed I wanted to make sure something, so I went to the furniture store once again tonight. It turned out that, besides the two pieces that I'd ordered a week ago, I added a single sofa and a tea table this time. I like sofas, and hate not enough chairs in the living room when guests visit. Even not for them, I enjoy sitting or lying leisurely. Or sitting in a small one and reading a book in my bedroom. Believe it or not, I feel happy even though just watching them. Therefore, I must seize the only chance of the life time to buy two fine pieces. Honestly, it's not easy to find the real thing. I mean there are not very many choices due to the limit of the width of the door. Luckily, I found these two sofas were perfectly match to each other, and the tea table as well. By the way, unknowingly, I've spent thirty thousand dollars already for the furniture.

Search

2008-03-09T18:10:00.011+08:00

Do not think that I couldn't buy anything at home even though there's no any paper catalogue at hand. Come on! It's an Internet world. It goes without saying that we can buy almost everything online, legal or illegal. For some people, it's even better than real shopping. Because it's convenient, cheap and full of surprises sometimes. The only drawback of it is taking too much time on searching. On second thoughts, it's also the fun of the online shopping. With being fond of wallets, which were too expensive to afford, that I saw at the department store yesterday, I kept searching for the similar style from some sellers. Also, I was searching for appliances such as a refrigerator, small oven, water boiler and so on.

Window shopping

2008-03-08T23:36:00.012+08:00

So we were doing the window shopping because one of us didn't have extra money to buy, the other of us hadn't got a job so far. We were too poor to afford anything in the department store. I admitted that I had a whim to buy some thing that looked not cheap. I didn't let it happen due to the reason that I was going to buy something expensive for my new decorated house. And I always have to face the fact that I don't have a steady job, therefore I must learn how to survive the life with little money. It's so sad that it seems that there's no way I can do to improve the situation. No matter how old I am, no matter what kind of job I do. I appreciate that the current life style still remains a certain level, though.

The bad attitude

2008-03-07T22:09:00.012+08:00

The 307 bus driver who didn't stop as I waved, the post office lady who was reluctant to explain the procedure of transfer my certificate of deposit, the manage who talked me impatiently all the while, those were the people who were not very kind to me. But, I just didn't care at all. They probably did it unconsciously. And I've developed tolerance for this sorts of things. All of a sudden, I had a feeling that I was not depressed about meanness. Moreover, I'm not afraid of facing the bad attitude. It comes no stranger that people don't like me at the first sight. I usually can tell, particularly males, from their expressions. Although it's not what I deserve, I don't blame them. I feel sorry for them sometimes. Maybe I was a little fragile to tackle with it, but not anymore.

The life it should be

2008-03-06T19:16:00.004+08:00

Even seldom speaking in the daytime, I still don't feel like talking after coming home. Half of the furniture had gone, the family left, and the living room was still a mess. Due to some reason, the new sofa I ordered hadn't been delivered. I was still using the half side of the house. From now on, I was unable to see Daisy. I admitted that I somewhat missed her. Although the voices could be heard from the next door, we saw each other no more. It's the life it should be. I just let everything return what it was. Quietness and loneliness, were two things that I possess at the moment.

Occupational injury

2008-03-05T20:36:00.005+08:00

My right hand really hurt. It happened at the moment when I did the work of stapling a few documents this morning. I wondered why the hurt came from inside for I didn't overuse my hand lately. Then I thought about it for a while, and finally realized that it's still the work that caused this occupational injury. I've pulled out the staples of the documents and numbered them for almost two weeks. My muscles were not injured until I used the staple with my strength. I felt hurt at first, and powerless afterwards. How I wish the left hand could be flexible as the right one. Instead of telling the manager that I couldn't do the work, I was suffering the pain till lunch break. It should be all right after an hour rest. I enjoyed the time by myself, as usual. Pretending there's nothing strange, I was back to work. The big staple was changed to a small one. I tried to use my left hand to press with the right hand, which felt less pain immediately. My personal crisis was temporarily dissolved.

The second fine day

2008-03-04T19:11:00.014+08:00

This is the second fine day of this week. Cold, windy and sunny, especially the street trees, remind me of the winter of Japan. It's a perfect day for taking a walk. Everyone should go outside and enjoy the weather even in the short lunch break. Taking a walk in the streets or having lunch in the park, a little cold mixes a little warm, let the sunshine shines on our body. It's how I make good use of the noon time. I walked different directions, and explored new buildings and shops every day. I'm quite familiar with this aera because the company I used to work is not very far from here. By the way, I might be a chief of the department if I hadn't left the company. Nevertheless, the company had moved to another place. It's impossible for me to continue working in that faraway area,

Pity

2008-03-03T19:21:00.012+08:00

Though having decided not to talk to him, I couldn't stop thinking of him. I don't mean I miss him, thanks to him that I'm able to graduate from his academy during his disappearance. It's the way he treated me, blunt, outspoken, straightforward and rude sometimes. Though he wanted to show his care or a sense of humor, I often misread them as negative meanings. He should have been a decent guy, and got married and had a happy family, not goofing around all the time. I really pity him. Maybe I should treat him in alternative way, and not take his words too seriously. I know he wishes that I can buy a bicycle to let him take advantage of it. He could come to my place from time to time if he had one. The question is I'm not supposed to be the one who offers the equipment. I told him, which is true, that there's least chance to own one once again, for I've lost two in two years.

Weirder

2008-03-02T19:07:00.019+08:00

How unlucky I am to meet a weirdo like him? It feels like we're a chicken and a duck talking in different languages. He didn't seem to be able to catch my meaning, neither did I. The more I heard, the less I liked him. In fact, I'm over him, almost. This is not the first time that he makes me want to hang up the phone. I couldn't do it each time, whereas he promptly ends up the conversation from time to time. He's even weirder than before. So weird to the point where I've made my mind not to answer his call next time. Maybe it's the way he treats his friends. Sadly enough, I've not been accustomed to it so far. I tried to be nice to him but somehow the atmosphere isn't right. And I just don't care anymore. All I have to do is to pull out the phone line as the phone rings next time. I wish I could exactly do it .

Bargain

2008-03-01T23:06:00.013+08:00

Although I didn't intend to ask F to bargain the furniture for me, she did it spontaneously. And I decided to buy the sofa and two closets not because the salesclerk was cute but because I'd been tired of looking for. I even didn't plan to ask her out today if not for a loan. In fact, I'd been trying to ward off seeing her since the time I told her the secret that I kept in my heart. She obviously didn't know the other side of me. I regretted letting her be aware of that even though she's one of my closed friends. I perfectly know she tried everything in the book to help me especially after I lost my job. Needless to say that I owed her a big favor again. Buying her a dinner seemed a good way to reward, but she paid the bills for all the food we ate today. I thought she's lucky not only she has a fine job but a stable life. Even she said her life seemed to have no change during the decades. She seems to have nothing to be worried about. But that's her life, not mine.

Not graceful

2008-02-29T22:44:00.007+08:00

It's the end of Feburary. It comes no surprise that the manager told me that I was not qualified for the work and had to go. As a matter of fact, I was ready for being asked to leave anytime. But I wouldn't quit voluntarily unless there's a better one waiting for me. I won't blame the manager or the company because I know I'm the kind who is alway unable to do things well. It sounds unbelievable but it's ture. I hate bringing trouble to somebody else. Generally, I will quit before they ask me to. But this time I won't. It seems that I've developed some courage to take nagative things. Scolding, humiliation, embarrassment, those kinds of things. I'm not saying that I've got used to it. It's just that I have to be put up with it no matter I like it or not. Because it's who I am. Not very graceful though.

Transpotation charge

2008-02-28T22:06:00.013+08:00

Buying furniture is a whole new experience to me. I'm not saying that I've never bought any piece before, but it's my first time buying a sofa, a closet and perhaps a couple of cabinets. Plus a refrigerator, though it can't be considered to be furniture. As a matter of fact, I need more than those. But let me begin with the big ones. Due to limit of budget, I can't afford things too expensive or luxurious. Therefore, shopping online is an alternative without doubt. The items sometimes are much cheaper than selling in real shops. The only concern is that the real product can be viewed in advance unless I go to somewhere to see the exactly same thing purposely. I've been thinking about IKEA, however, would give it up because of the high and unreasonable transportation charge. So, as far as I'm concerned, transportation charge is the real concern when I buy furniture.

Blunders

2008-02-27T21:41:00.013+08:00

One of the causes that I don't like to work is that I'm afraid of facing my carelessness. It's so unlike me. I mean I seem a careful person, but why I'm prone to make blunders on work all the time. Unfortunately, this shortcoming is easily shown at the beginning of a new work. And the worst of all, I can not change it, as much as I want to. Though I seem to be able to improve over time. Sometimes it's not allowed to make mistakes over and over again. That's how I was ruining my work. It explains why I've never succeeded. It's not that I feel embarrassment no more, it's just that I've lost my bearings. I've even prepared for the worse that I'll face the fact of being fired. Maybe I should try other types of jobs. Quitting doing paper work, offering services for aged people instead.

No more

2008-02-26T20:21:00.010+08:00

I've come to realize that, to me, guys are like some kind of food, I can eat it but can't be addicted to it. So I eat as long as I have the chance, meanwhile, I feel fine when I'm with myself. It's not all good about it. I mean I should think the dark side of relationships. My heart has been broken over and over again, not to mention how many tears have flowed from my eyes. Now I've finally learned my lesson. I can deal with the situation properly. Taking words seriously no more. Waiting for someone no more. Tossing and turning at night no more. Though, in a way, I'm still fond of them. In the meantime, I enjoy the life of my own. Since my life is not designed for that. Why should I impose myself on something that I doesn't belong to? I feel I less need them now.

Working and thinking

2008-02-25T20:47:00.008+08:00

The beauty of this work is I neither have to know nor socialise with anyone else. The manager could answer almost questions. Everybody keeps their mouths shut and work. In this time, I can think of everything I like. The syllables of my favorite songs, even having no iPod, I can hear the music playing in my head, familiar and clear. "Bight Eyes" and some Foo Fighters' songs. Also the invisible boys, always hiding their faces, keeping teasing me and never appear. It draws down on me that I can't have a normal relationship like everyone else. Because there's no such thing called "relationship" in my life. I truly feel enough for that. Alternatively, I can think how many pieces of furniture that I'm going to buy. Needless to say, that's the motive of earning money at the moment.

Bight Eyes

2008-02-24T20:38:00.014+08:00

Only when MSP presents "Bright Eyes" in their own way, do I think it's a brilliant song. No time is like this time, the melody is so haunting to the point where I want to hear the original version and learn the tune. It's not difficult to know that this track is sung by Art Garfunkel for Walt Disney animated movie called "Watership Down" in 1978. Although the song is as pure as the morning air, I doubted it had any chance to win my heart. I wouldn't say that MSP do a better job than Mr. Garfunkel, but they've definitely put some rock element in it. Which without doubt gives the song a new feeling. After having a taste on music, I'm in the mood for the movie. Hey, why there are so many bunnies? Judging by the title, isn't it about the adventure of the sea? It turns out that "Watership Down" is the hill near the Hampshire of England county. It has no relevance to the ship or sea or anything like that. In my opinion, it's a bit strange to put a song in that kind of movie. Interestingly enough, some hate the song's guts. I wasn't one of them, just thought it bland. But now it became the tune that I want to hear and sing the most.

In common

2008-02-23T22:16:00.006+08:00

I had a little chat with this girl, who guided me to a food shop where she often eat lunch. With sitting by my side, she is the only person, besides manager, that I can talk to and ask questions. I notice that she hardly says a word during the working hour. However, she always gives me a helping hand when I need it. Did I mention that she is young and pretty? Oh! Yes, definitely. And kind and thoughtful, too. I wonder why a nice girl like her can't find a decent job. We may come from different areas, have different backgrounds and be born in different generations. We have at least one thing in common. Having a job to earn money and live. So, eighteen grand could support our life, fifty dollars could stuff our stomachs. None of us complain for we have a job at this moment.

Drab

2008-02-22T21:25:00.007+08:00

I'm torturing myself before I'm tortured. This the simple work that everybody can do. That's why the pay is so low. Honestly, I don't mind if this work is tedious or drab or low-paid for I've done ten times toilsome work. Comparing to that, it's a piece of cake. Thank god for which I can sit in a comfortable chair doing things in an air-conditioned clean place. Though everyone in the room works quietly. We are like the machines in the factory. However, it's bliss to have a job in this day in age. I even voluntarily raised my hand when the manager asked who's going to work overtime tomorrow. I do it not because the single day pay is better, but because I want to break the rule of not working on weekends. In fact, no one cares where I am. Then why don't I seize the chance and earn some money. I'd been rested for one whole year, that's enough!

Lingerie

2008-02-21T21:28:00.009+08:00

I admit that I kind of like seeing myself wearing lingerie. Because my body fits it without doubt. Even though my waist by no means looks slim, I have big boobs. I usually hide them as much as I can but find them functional when I put on that kind of dress. Transparent and leopard pattern. I've never thought that I would be fond of leopard leopard. Thinking that's the design for old women. Which means that I'm becoming one of them. Frankly, the dress looked so sexy on me if my face was masked. This is not my first sexy dress. In fact, I'm big enough to decide what I want. Lingerie is not only a tool to please men but a piece to make myself feel different. I can't define myself as an adult because I've never lived the life that mature people should live. I don't know if I could make a change. But I would try new things, especially some things that I've never experienced before to spice my dull and tedious life.

Keep waiting

2008-02-20T18:59:00.013+08:00

Why I kept laughing when I was seen through the webcam? Because I was too shy when he asked me to take my clothes off again. Sometimes I don't feel like doing it even though I've done that for several times. I shot a few nude photos while he was taking a shower. And he really kept me waiting for a while this time. He wondered why the photos didn't look erotic at all. Because I didn't have an erotic expression, that's why. And I did it like a routine. I said there's nothing I could show him for I'd completely stripped myself off. He said I could put on my clothes again. That's interesting. It turned out that we talked about two different things. Then there's a pause between us. I said I wanted to go to his place to see him (I meant it). He said that wouldn't be a problem, however, I had to sleep on the floor. That sounded very uncomfortable to be honest. I know it's impossible for us to sleep in that small single bed. He thought I was joking, which I wasn't. But I called off the idea at once for I knew he's too busy to take a visitor like me.

A counselor

2008-02-19T20:29:00.021+08:00

It seems that I always need a partner to be my counselor when I read, write or translate the language that I've exposed for decades. Recently, I read a message that someone called Richard would like to give a helping hand to ones who have problems with English. That sounds great to me for I have tons of question to ask. I admit that's a bit exaggerating. In fact I do have a couple of doubts. All I need to do is to write an email to ask for help. Although sending a letter isn't a difficult thing, and I'm actually quite good at it. I couldn't do it right away. My biggest concern is I'm afraid that the project couldn't go well due to some unexpected thoughts. And I don't think I deserve to take another heartbreak. My heart is made of glass for sure. Therefore, in a way, it becomes more and more difficult to make friends through the internet. Maybe the design of my life is the continuation of making virtual friends then losing them. And still the same old words, I'm too big for that.

Overtime

2008-02-18T21:30:00.013+08:00

Chances I meet T during weekdays are very few, though sometimes I have something to tell him. I think him incredible after knowing he's almost working overtime each day. I wonder how he is able to take this kind of job. Obvious it's all about earning money and living independently. As far as I'm concerned, the work only could be a part of my life, not the whole. I hate working overtime to be honest. It seems to me that money can't buy my leisure time. Even so, I seldom hear him complaining about it even though the job is imperfect. He's clearly implied that he doesn't want to mention anything related to work. That's why I called him a computer nerd due to the reason that he hardly has time to do something else after work. Every now and then, I think the way he's working. He is really something. I admire him.

A webcam

2008-02-17T19:55:00.009+08:00

At first, my answers is negative when T asks me to do something for him. He doesn't lose his interest even I've rejected him again and again. I was warning him the likelihood that he might get shocked by those photos I took all by myself. He's never been scared away. Now I need to hide no more. He saw me through a webcam this afternoon, and continued the games after supper. Yes, we were playing a couple of games. He's watching me changing clothes, I was doing a lap dance afterwards. Although being unable to see him, I liked hearing his voice. There's nothing between us, I could feel how closed we were. It seemed like I was a bit more accustomed to the way he treated me. I knew what he wanted to see, so I tried my best to satisfy him. It turned out, not surprisingly, that we both had a very great time.

The porn site

2008-02-16T18:07:00.010+08:00

I smelled a rat while I was talking on the phone. D sneakingly slipped into my room and slammed the door. To my astonishment, she showed me the porn site she opened after I finished talking. My first reaction was I said she would never touch my computer at once, I meant it. I couldn't describe how regretful I was to carelessly put the site above the Kid's Yam, a site that she almost goes every day to take care her pet. I would have thought how little chance for her to click the site she wasn't familiar, obviously I was completely wrong. Everybody has curiosity, children are no exception. It's all my fault, needless to say. Saying nothing much except for asking her to stay in the living room. She was standing beside me and weeping. She might think I was mad but the truth is I was depressed and sorry for making such a preventable mistake. She was too little to know it. That's why I hate being with kids. I needed to be alone for a while.

Inferiority

2008-02-15T22:03:00.006+08:00

I don't understand why S always feels inferiority about being unmarried? My looks, educational background and jobs might be inferior to others, but not my relationship status. I might have no confidence in almost everything, but not my relationship status. I'm not saying single people should be proud of which they don't get involved in marriage. Still, there's no need to feel inferiority when someone, especially the interviewer of the job, asks about the question "Are you married?" "No." is the easiest answer in my opinion. "Why" if someone keeps asking. "Because I haven't found my Mr. Right." That's my another common answer to that annoying question. Simple and clear. She sometimes tells a lie that she's divorced and has a twenty-five year old son. I don't want to judge her. We're hoping not to have to face that awkward situation, but we need to learn how to deal with it properly. Being single is not a guilty or crime. It's just a way of life, a different kind from marriage.

The special day

2008-02-14T19:36:00.006+08:00

Two computer nerds, two lonely hearts, T and I were giving warmth and a little love to each other tonight. None of us had mentioned this special day. I hardly remembered the day simply because I hadn't found my Valentine so far. I guessed he didn't have one who could make him a heart-shaped chocolate, too. We were getting together, sitting separately as always. Maybe a device that people can touch each other through the computer would be invented in many years. If the time comes, people could save trouble to meet in person. What the world it would be? Sorry, I digressed. After he stood me up, I've learned not to mix virtuality with reality. I've come to realize that maybe it's too hard for us to make things real or go any further. Typing words seem the only way we can contribute to each other. I've never felt that I needed him so much and could live without him at the same time. Could he feel how I felt?

The messenger

2008-02-13T19:11:00.011+08:00

The only good thing today is that I discharged the role of playing a messenger in a long time. It's hard to believe that I've been the middle person between brothers and father for over fifteen years. I don't know why I took the mission at the first place. I guess it's because I'm the eldest and the only female in this family since Mom die. It's not an easy role to play I have to say. I could transmit the messages correctly most of the time, but couldn't say words literally or misunderstood the meanings from time to time. Why don't they just talk to each other directly? Though sometimes I wondered, I still kept doing the job. By the way, I've never known my father, and never wanted to. He was an irresponsible father. I was gutted after speaking to him over the phone tonight, and had a feeling that we would not get in touch for some time.

Fading away

2008-02-12T20:22:00.014+08:00

The dreaming is gradually fading away. I didn't type a decent response as T said he wanted to hug me or something like that. It's not that I thought he didn't mean it. It's just that I didn't have a heart to think about what it was. He is still him, I am still me. The distance is still between us, no more or less. I don't know how to shorten it. Alternatively, neither do we know how to. On the other hand, I've never doubted his honesty, but what if he lied to me? He regretted therefore he made a reasonable excuse that he had a college union the very next day. But it didn't sound like a lie. He even mentioned that he would be willing to come and go within one day. It's unnecessary for him to make such a lie to me. For all I know, we are so far beyond that level.

The worst season

2008-02-11T20:49:00.002+08:00

Strictly speaking, it's the worst season of all to visit Taipei, and the bad weather for being naked. It's hard to say that We might have little chance to catch cold even if in my bedroom. Supposing T wouldn't have cancelled the date, we could have done all the things that we'd planned. I might have felt the same sadness for he had to leave tonight no matter how reluctant I was to let him go. Okay, what I'm trying to say is maybe it's not the perfect time to ask him to come here. Hey, he is the one who promises to see me. Besides the weather, the old furniture and the family were still in the living room. Which means I'm not a full hostess of the house, and, in a way, unable to do some things I desire. I didn't think it's proper to let him meet anyone except me even though he would have planned to say hello to them.

Made my day

2008-02-10T23:31:00.003+08:00

A couple of jokes cracked by D really made my day. She's cute and funny. How could I do without her? She'd asked me to take the online lesson of folding paper for three times, but I shirked it. I also viewed one and a half movies on TV, and fell asleep in the middle of one of the two. These things helped me thinking less about last night. I wasn't mad about him. In fact, I'd been waiting for him until I was defeated by the midnight low temperature. Somehow I felt like saying that I was all right. However, on the other hand, I thought it's still not the right time for us to talk. There's something remained in my heart. Without seeing his logon, feeling icing cold all day, I shut down the computer and started the heater and hit the bed. I needed some heat to warm my body and soul. It's the time that we should have lain and entwined together. But now it's only me, lying in the dark, hearing the sound of the heater, missing him so hard and weeping gently.

The pretender

2008-02-09T21:11:00.004+08:00

I dyed my hair, downloaded the movie he might be interested in, reorganized my room again, bought the lubricant and some food, and asked the family to stay in the next door. Moreover, I even shaved my pubic hair tonight. After having done all these things, all I got was the second big surprise from him. Cancellation! This was the true one. I felt slightly depressed at first. Then I spoke with unspoken sadness. The more he explained the more tears I shed. It turned out that I could utter no words and completely broke down. I hear the fate laughing so hard at my stupid behavior. He seems to remind me of which it's my destiny that I'll never have physical relationship with a guy. Never. I shouldn't have taken it so seriously and prepared for it. Particularly buying things before his confirmation. What a fool I am. And who would have known that he changed his mind so soon. Although it's not his fault, I've decided not to log on MSN for some time. Maybe I should exchange the lubricant for toilet paper and the food for two bags of rice. And be practical.

Naked pictures

2008-02-08T21:00:00.001+08:00

After viewing the naked pictures, I have to say the whole thing has been wildly exaggerated, and is for too much ado about nothing. It's reported just because they're celebrities. So what? They're humans, not dolls or robots. Therefore they have sexual needs and weird hobbies sometimes. Strictly speaking, they just do the things that ordinary people do. Even shooting naked photos, there are millions of people doing and posting it. Breasts, penises, vaginae, big deal? Everybody has them, hasn't he/she? The only difference is they're not famous, mass media don't want the news that much. I guess I'm the only one in the world think it not so abnormal. In my opinion, the ones who are spreading the pictures and disclose the news should be blamed, not the celebrities. However, I believe the news would cause a less sensation if everybody had the open-minded about sex. Damn the mass media and newsmen.

Not surprise

2008-02-07T18:25:00.002+08:00

I'd been disappointed about the uncertain answer that T gave me the other day, and thought that there's no chance for us to meet each other during the holidays. Honestly, I'd been ready for spending the days without meeting anyone special, as usual. However, tonight he abruptly told me that he's going to come this Sunday. Although earlier he'd mentioned that he's likely to give me a surprise, I'd totally slipped out of my mind until the moment he brought it up. Because of suppressing my desire these days, I didn't feel too much excited about it. But I was still very happy with his decision. I would do my best to make him feel comfortable. Despite the cold and damp weather, we still have fire in our hearts, and of course would do the thing that we're talking about on MSN.

除夕

2008-02-06T17:46:00.002+08:00

可以說，這是一年當中最不喜歡的日子之一。從小父母不和造成年節尷尬的雰圍，至長大成人後仍在姊弟與兄弟之間揮之不去。撇開這個不說，所謂的年度大掃除就令人非常反感，我極度不贊成這種由遠古傳承下來的陋習。掃除工作應該是時而為之，因為習俗卻成為年度盛事。因此，說反其道而行也好，不遵行習俗也罷，我不僅不會在今天做任何特別掃除動作，還會對別人的行徑嗤之以鼻。再來就是吃年夜飯，沒有白米飯，而是火鍋。通常準備的人必須採買平時吃不到、昂貴、好吃的食材來慶賀年節。我不反對大家聚在一起吃飯，只是吃喝一些高熱量、高糖份，高膽固醇對身體無益的零食與年菜，無形中造成腸胃負擔，等年節過後才發現身材走樣，再花金錢或力氣減肥，這就是大家樂此不疲的過年流程，卻是我不崇尚的飲食方式。最後，也是令我最難堪的一點，就是收發紅包。無論經濟狀況如何，小姪女的那一包絕不能省。對照我薄薄的幾張，大弟不僅每人有份，而且頗有厚度。彷彿昨天才收到紅包，怎麼今天又要收了？別人領紅包是高興，我收紅包是羞愧。他不吝與我們分享去年辛勤工作的成果，讓我受之有愧，眼淚也隨之在眼眶內打轉。帶有關懷與接濟意味的紅包，讓我知道自己必須積極面對未來的一年，不要再荒廢度日了。

Two right things

2008-02-05T21:16:00.001+08:00

I think my decision of which I'm not going to have dinner with the family by the time the house is finished is a right thing. Needless to say that it's nutrition to eat the meal cooked from a house wife. However, I have my own philosophy of food. I want not only to eat the food in my own way, but also to live the life with less talking and noises. They have already given me a find house to live. There's no reason to bother their life anymore.
I think my decision of which I avoid talking about sex and emotional topics to T is another right thing. Needless to say that it's less fun because of lacking these two subjects, however, I have my own philosophy of relationship. Now that he's by no means my boyfriend, there's no need to treat him like that. Undeniable, I have lust for him. However, that doesn't mean I have to count on him doing this to me all the time. I was actually feeling much better as changing the mood of talking.

Quit

2008-02-04T16:28:00.002+08:00

I'm quite familiar with this. Not saying that I've done it for thousand times. But I quit the job today. It feels as if I'm doing it all the time, and seeming without consideration as well. It all results from the Guarantee Letter that states that working time starts at 7. Which means I have to get up an half earlier. There's no way I could save my time except for eating breakfast on my way to work, which might be the only pleasant thing I have before work. And I don't think I should sacrifice my sleep to match up the time. There were still a few unreasonable rules on that paper. I tried to negotiate with the boss, but in vain. Then I quit at once, meanwhile, canceled to go to the street of furniture for I would have planned to pay with the salaries. I should have compromised my principles and struggled until the end of this month. On second thoughts, the working time is the main issue for me. In my opinion, it's definitely not worth spending ten hours a day for that seventeen thousand a month.

An epitom

2008-02-03T20:22:00.002+08:00

This is the third time or forth time that I view "Friends", I don't remember. I'm not a huge fan, but I would say that I love watching these series all the while. I find something interesting out there. Not only is this a comedy about friendship, but a show demonstrates different aspects of relationships. Now that my life is as simple as water and as white as paper, there's impossible to come through various life experiences. The ten season drama may offer an epitome to me. A kaleidoscope that I can see New York from here. Six men and women with pretty faces and different characters are sharing laughter, anger, sadness and happiness with each other. However, the lives still can't be as smooth as they want. Because it's a comedy, laughter is here and there and everywhere. But, it makes me weep sometimes for I see some familiar situations in it. I'm neither one of them whereas I'm in everyone or at least the three women's parts.

Chase

2008-02-02T21:23:00.001+08:00

At times I think I'm fed with up getting along with D and seeing how she's occupying my computer to play her games. Though she's a lovely girl. I was laughing with her but wasn't happy. The posture of falling asleep explained everything. I needed some sleep and it's the perfect day to get in the bed even in the daytime. I truly need the girl and sleep to chase the disturbance out of my heart. And the hard work, too. As much as I know I've not crossed the line, somehow there's something different. I start thinking it again. Thinking and wishing the things that impossibly happens in my life. But this time I wouldn't repeat my fault. Wait a minute! There's no right or wrong on this matter. It's just a road that I've chosen and I've regretted it. The worst part is there's no solution to it. What can I do?

Seriousness

2008-02-01T22:06:00.002+08:00

No, no, no, please do not get me wrong, I wasn't taking it seriously, I just wanted to make sure of my schedule of new year holidays. Maybe I was wishing to see you during that time, but that's all right if you shouldn't come. Instead of thinking of having sex with you, I was planning to go nowhere except sleeping alone all day every day. That's the real thing I want to do. So, please give me no answer for I ask you no more. Let us go back to the time we used to have. Talking without seeing each other for good. That's the true spirit of being a key pal. I'll make the thing as simple as it used to be. I shouldn't have cared it so much. At least I could stop at the moment. But why I found a lot of tears on my pillow as hitting the bed? What's wrong with me?

My way or high way

2008-01-31T18:03:00.000+08:00

A month ago, I doubted myself if I could cut out for the job, and promised myself to do at least four weeks. I was struggling every day, and, I know I've emphasized it many times, it felt like hell especially the moment as I got up. After a month, I face not only the change of the company, but also the consideration of whether I should leave or stay. I would quit the job should the new company have new policies that I couldn't accept. In other words, I'd like to do things according to my ways, which are to leave the campus as long as I finish working, and to start at seven thirty, there's no way for me to get up earlier I must say, and not to work on Saturdays. My way or high way. Apparently, I completely ignore the fact who is the boss in this case. Put aside the contract, I'm glad that I've got through the first hard, long month of my cleaner career.

Consolation

2008-01-30T18:29:00.002+08:00

I'm lying in a soft sofa bed covered with a designed quilted cover with a fine feather quilt inside in a clean room without mosquitoes or any flying creatures. With having no allergy attack and cold feet, I can sleep sound and good till the next morning in the freezing cold nights. Because I sleep well, I could deal with the tough things in the daytime. So, this is likely to be the best sleep quality I've ever had so far in my life. It's hard to believe that it takes years to get these things and the environment all together. I'm the kind who relies on the bedroom. It's the only place that I could relax myself when I'm tired, and be consoled when I'm sad, grieved and depressed. It's a cozy small room designed for myself. And now it's also a space that I could invite someone to spend the night.

Winter vacation

2008-01-29T17:27:00.002+08:00

I smelt winter vacation in the air. It's fresh and cold. There were scarcely students in the campus, nor the teachers. Only few office employees that I encountered in the corridors. Thus, I could do my work freely and easily. I even didn't need to check them again in the afternoon because the less people, the less dirt. I'd checked it yesterday and didn't think I should do it again today. So I thought the life beautiful if I could only work two hours every day. It seemed like I loved this job due to its decreasing working time. Now I was enjoying the vacation, too. Unfortunately, it's a special benefit only for winter vacation. But I would remember it and take it as the reward for the past and the future hard working. Future? The least thing I could think about. The contract would be due this month. There's no telling how much the thing will change in the future.

Monday morning

2008-01-28T17:48:00.001+08:00

Since taking this job, feeling reluctant and powerless, I began hating Mondays, especially the cold, dark winter morning. It felt like I was on an island alone and didn't know where to go. Isolated and lonely. The only nice thing during the time is to treat myself a hot, delicious breakfast, which are a cup of hot drink and two or three pieces of toast. I'd rather eat at home than a food store. There's only little time I can postpone. In fact, I was unconscious until the moment I found that I was walking my way home, tired and hungry. Half a day was gone. Time keeps pushing me like a barking dog. Monday must go no matter whether I like it or not. It's just a part of the week. So the Tuesday and the week, the month, the year, the decade, and the life. Why should I be afraid of it?

The clues

2008-01-27T20:25:00.002+08:00

I read a very touching and wonderful article, which made me a good mood all day. It's about a story of a lost digital camera in New York, the finder and her fiance and his family use their wisdom and spirit of detectives to be persistently tracking the clues by looking at the pictures and videos on the camera step by step. They thought the owner was the Irish family but turned out to be an insurance underwriter who lives in Australia, and finally could return the camera to the owner. The story itself is virtually like a movie, and a true fine story that I've never read for a while. No wonder some said " I see a movie in the making." The owner shows his appreciation by writing that "It's good to know there are some honest people left in the world." Interestingly enough, the comments are pouring like snowflakes. Some said they would do the same thing, some confessed they would have kept the camera for themselves. Well, I would definitely try my best to find the owner, but probably couldn't do as best as they do.

The ticket

2008-01-26T18:25:00.001+08:00

First of all, thanks J for telling me the information and spending the money right away. Two thousand and eight hundred dollars are, for me, almost equal to one month's meal fees. I just spent it for the ticket of Broken Social Scene. I have to say the ticket is by no means cheap, so what the hell they hold it in a teeny weeny tiny place like "The Wall". Such a big band in such a small venue, I can image how suffocated it would be. It's one of the two things that I want to complain about. That the date is set on a weekday is another one. I don't know if I would be exhausted should I still have to wake up at six in the next morning. Anyway, I let J bought the ticket for me without much consideration. She said the ticket was selling like hot cakes. Well, due to lack of money, as far as I'm concerned, it's not easy to see the concert unless it's a must-see one. Broken Social Scene is one of the few, And frankly I didn't realize that.

The bonus

2008-01-25T19:53:00.001+08:00

I didn't know who came up with this lame idea of which we who got the bonus, which is the reward for the extra work of the music camp held in this building, should devote the money to the hot pot party. They wanted my money, fine. But I would never join them no matter what they eat. I think the whole thing ridiculous because the one seems to have made the decision for three of us and without asking the opinion in advance. Though pissed, I said nothing but let the foreman be in charge for the this matter. Nevertheless, I got one thousand from the university this afternoon. Somehow I felt I didn't need to hand over the bill. I went to IKEA and bought a quilted cover unit that I'd been wanted for some time. I don't care if I get the bonus to be honest. I spend the money due to my hard work this month. What's more I don't want to give it away after the bill has been in my wallet. I won't unless they force me.

Big sister

2008-01-24T17:21:00.002+08:00

That was a moment when I ran into the foreman in the male restroom of first floor. Actually he checked the washbowls and suggested me to clean the toilet with bleach. Though I told him that I'd done my best to wash them all. I thought the bleach was a good idea because I could use it not only for bleaching the toilet but also taking away the bad odor. Most importantly, it can save my strength. He somehow saw the plastic bag on the washbowl desk and asked the pupils who joined the camp whether they forgot carrying it away. I heard some said no. Then I said the thing was mine. He immediately shouted "oh! That's the Big sister's" with a gentle voice toward the pupils. I looked around, there's nobody but me out there. This was rare that I was called "Big sister" in recent years. I wouldn't mind if I was called an aunt or something like that. How sweet he was to call me that. I can still be a big sister as long as I'm wearing the mask.

Discharge

2008-01-23T12:59:00.001+08:00

I told D that I was not going to ask her to do anything, therefore she didn't need to force herself to obey the rules that I made for her. Because we're going to live separate lives, there's no need for me to play the role of the guardian. I don't care if she watches too much TV, playing too many games, having good postures, brushing her teeth, doing her homework etc. She doesn't have to care what I react as well. The reason that I made the decision partly because she'd turned me down for a few times. She's always saying no no matter how I invited her to go out with me. Laziness was her excuse, which I thought it's a lame one. And I was not very fond of which she'd rather stay at home than go anywhere. In a way, she is a good girl. That's why I discharged my duty from this moment.

Report

2008-01-22T17:55:00.001+08:00

I finally wrote a letter to the authority of education to report how wasteful the university is. It's not the revenge for being reported for not cleaning the washbowl. Believe it or not, I didn't mean it. I'd been too focused on the toilet, and forgot that there something needed to be taken care of as well. It's the part of the deal, now I know. Anyway, I spent this afternoon to clean almost the washbowls of the building. Before that, I sent the letter that I'd written for a couple of days. I suggested that they make good use of the budget in some useful aspects rather than buying toilet paper. Honestly, I'm not the kind who's apt to write this kind of letter. However, I would do it if necessary. I would do my best to prevent precious resource, water, electricity, toilet paper and anything like that, from randomly being wasted.

Chaos!

2008-01-21T18:38:00.000+08:00

This was the first Monday of Winter vacation. And, oh my god! What's going on there? What happened to the campus? Why there's chaos in garbage collecting place? It looked like being through the World War III or something like that. The cleaner told me that because they did a thorough cleaning at the end of the semester, that's why. I could see how unhappy she was while she was tackling with the garbage. I supposed it would at least take a day or two for her to clean up all the mess. I would have helped her if had had enough strength. I was totally beat after finishing my work, and needed to go home to take a rest. I don't know what to say at this moment. The school shouldn't be the one who's blamed for throwing garbage all at once. It's their routine, I believe.

Shrink

2008-01-20T18:07:00.000+08:00

I tried to shrink that point because I found it getting bigger these days. I'm not supposed to count on that no matter whether it's going to happen or not. Thus, I wanted to add reading in work and sleep to distract my attention from my thoughts. Only when I read books, do I feel fulfilment in my mind. That's why I've kept the habit of borrowing books from the library. I should have concentrated my mind on reading more. Not only do I enjoy reading in bed, but at my desk. The question is that I easily fall asleep while I'm reading in bed. As far as I'm concerned, it's hard to read and keep consciousness in bed at the same time. Therefore, I couldn't read as much as I want. I'm a bad reader, that's why I keep reading. By the way, I accidentally started with reading an English novel since a few months ago. Now I usually borrow two or three, and try to read them without consulting a dictionary. Due to less borrowers, the books are relatively new. Which is a good thing.

Encouraged

2008-01-19T23:02:00.002+08:00

There were special reasons for me that I wanted to chat with her. Not only are we similar to age and background, but she is the only one who knows my current situation. We understand the bitter of seeking jobs, however, there's only little we help each other. We had thought about the small business, but it ended up that we're perfect aware of the fact that we're not cut out for it. That's all right because I don't take it seriously, either. Sometimes I could help but wonder why it's so hard for us to find a decent job? We have little ambition to make a fortune, we just want to make a living. She told me a lot of bad experiences she'd been through as well as the cruel of the reality. I was encouraged by some of her words. To compare with her, despite being tired every day, I at least have a job. Though I'm planning to work until the end of February.

Hot and cold

2008-01-18T20:38:00.001+08:00

According to the letter she replied the second time, I realized that I mistook L for somebody else. That's because she changed her name without notice, and it happened to be as the same as the other colleague. Fortunately, I didn't type the name in my letter, thus it's suitable for either one. Besides aforementioned coincidence, miss L sent the message with the new email account that I didn't know. Moreover, she's not the kind who shows her concern. In fact, I think she's a bit indifferent sometimes. That's why I consider that she's probably the last name on my list who would leave the comment on my blog. But, to my surprise, this time she said something warm and nice. Not only did she offer the information of the job, but invited me to visit her again in the Chinese new year, just like last year. By the way, the strawberry pie was delicious. Sometimes hot and sometimes cold, I don't get her to be honest.

Old and ugly

2008-01-17T17:28:00.001+08:00

This inspiration probably comes from T. I find that he doesn't seem to emphasize the importance of people's appearances and age, whereas I often mention it especially when it comes to the relationship between men and women, or by the time I look at me in the mirror. Maybe he is the one who doesn't think highly of these two traits. That explains why he's never retreated so far even though vaguely knowing my age and looks. He has great tolerance in my opinion. Therefore, I'd like to follow the example. Try not to say old and ugly not only just to myself but also to others. Which means, from this moment, I would try to say those two words as less as possible even though I feel so. I want to see how my life would be changed if the bad words don't slip of my mouth.

Guan Miao Noodles

2008-01-16T17:12:00.001+08:00

I forgot putting a bill in my pocket, therefore didn't have money to buy lunch. Laziness stopped me to go out again as I got home. And I was fed up with the cold sushi of the convenient store that I'd had for days anyway. I decided to cook noodles with the electric rice cooker. Meanwhile, E reheated the dishes for W and herself with the microwave. I know it's faster to use the gas stove, however, I have to depend on the rice cooker for I'm living all by myself in two months. It's not a big deal for I've had that kind of life not too long ago. There's nothing to be added in the noodles except oil, vinegar and chili sauce. E asked me if I wanted to have some vegetables. I said no. So here came my lunch, a plate of plain noodles with nothing, not even an egg. But I ate them in my room with music. The noodles themselves tasted not very delicious I must say. Nevertheless, regardless of the flavor, I gulped them down within ten minutes due to my hunger. At the same time, W and his wife were having theirs in the living room.

Bleach

2008-01-15T21:18:00.001+08:00

With the decrease of the students, I'm feeling a bit at ease this week. I can even finish the work within two hours, and go home as soon as possible to enjoy my personal time. In fact, nobody cares how long you work as long as you can get it done and do it well. Even the foreman didn't stop me from leaving when I was on my way home last Wednesday, the time was ten thirty in the morning as I remember. It's meaningless to stay there when there's nothing else to do. On the other hand, due to my carelessness, I accidentally splashed bleach on my black pants. I didn't notice until I walked in the park. The stains were orange and I couldn't figure it out why at first. These pair are one of my favorites, now they were basically ruined if the color was unable to be returned to black. I needed to find something to dye it back. So, let me remind myself once again. Black is not a perfect color for this place, white is.

Smoke

2008-01-14T17:40:00.001+08:00

It's so hard for me not to think a guy I know. He is probably the last man in this world that still considers to be a woman who needs a man's caress, and that is willing to listen to everything I say. However, he's still a wrong guy for me, too young and too far away. There would be no result for us, though we've never thought we should. As much as I'm expecting him to come, in the meantime I don't think too much of it. Because I know he will come and go like smoke, so quickly that I cannot hold. Like the a passenger that has to pass in my life. I'm so mad about myself for taking him for my lover sometimes. I totally know he's not the one. Even we have sex, we're not meant for each other for sure. I don't know whether we could still be friends should our relationship go like that.

Only key pals

2008-01-13T21:16:00.001+08:00

Actually, the third time I sent message to T not because I related him to the pron actor of the film that I just had seen, but because I wanted to find out the reason why he didn't respond to me. It's so not like him I have to say. I would have called him. But somehow, I just didn't want to cross that line. He and I are key pals so far no matter how we talk on MSN. Besides, people change their minds all the time, and I'm perfect aware of it. Therefore, it comes no stranger should he have no heart to continue the conversation some day. This time he simply didn't get my messages, or emoticons to be precise. That's all right because he didn't mean it. So, we'd missed for two times, and there's apparently not too much time left at the end of the weekend. It's time for me to have dinner and for him to return to his dormitory.

A skirt

2008-01-12T21:55:00.001+08:00

"Why do you wear a skirt?" if you ask me. "Because I want to." Sometimes I do things with no reason. It's just a feeling, an emotion, a spirit to make me do it. Okay, maybe there are some reasons in this case. I find it comfortable to wear a skirt than pants. It's women's right, how can I give it up. Only when I wear a skirt, do I feel like a female, the character that I'm not so familiar with. In fact, it would be perfect if I can wear a pair of high heels as well as put on a long wig. Besides, now that I've decided buying as less clothes I could, I want to take advantage of all of clothes especially the ones that I've not worn for a long time. Anyway, I put on my denim skirt today on the spur of the moment. It seemed a bit weird to wear formal at home, but I didn't care. That's how skirt looks differently from pants. You guys had better get used to it.

The ignorant youth

2008-01-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

So, basically, as I know, the students of the university are the future teachers of elementary schools or Junior schools. Nevertheless, not only do they look like children, but act like the ignorant youth. I don't want to be too judgmental, but doubt some of their parents have taught them how to use a toilet, or how to keep a toilet clean. I don't mean they should clean the rest room, however, at least they ought to watch out for what they do in the rest room. For example, to try not to block the basin with soup or something like that or smear dirt on the floor on purpose. What's more, do not mix recycled garbage in the toilet bin. Instead to inform the leak, they tell the school that the toilet paper needs to be resupplied. Toilet paper is the only thing they concern. Maybe I should write a letter to the authority to tell them how wasteful they are, and ask them to stop supplying the paper right away. I would do it if they piss me off some time.

Move on

2008-01-10T16:59:00.001+08:00

It's kind of unbelievable that I've worked over a week. And it's Thursday, the fourth day of this week. Which means I only need to strive for one day, then have two days to recover my energy. It's because of time. Time can do so much no matter it's good or bad. Only time can help me to get through the hard time. It's like a river, the job is like a boat to take me to somewhere. Where I can get the things I want. I have to move on. I think I would be just twiddling my thumbs if I chose not to take this job. Now I've unknowingly worked for ten days even though each day is still like hell. It's just one third of the month. Alternatively, I may think it's already been one third of the month, and there's not too far to get to the middle. Then then the rest of the days would be like a roller coaster. I'll be sliding down straightforward.

Sleep and work

2008-01-09T20:07:00.001+08:00

How about sleeping for nine hours to supplement working time of seven hours? Sleep seems never enough for this laborious work. Besides, it's really a challenge to wake up at six in this cold winter day. To be honest, I've never expected life would be so simple. It seems that nothing is left except for sleep and work. As much as I have time of my own, there are not many things I can do. For example, cleaning the house or having dinner with friends, sorts like that. I start wondering if it's worth spending so much time on sleep and work. Why don't I just quit if I couldn't take it any longer? Because I need money, that's the reason. Everyday I think how far I can go? Today? Tomorrow? Next week? This month? The end of the next month? I've never stopped thinking resignation. And I hate that.

Ouch

2008-01-08T18:13:00.001+08:00

Ouch, it hurt. Believe me it really really hurt. My upper forehead was hit by the angles of the toilet cabinets three times at the some point in three different places within two days. I believed it was bleeding but didn't see the blood. How unlucky I was. It felt like my chest would be split in any minute, and I couldn't breathe very well due to the thick mask. The sweat in the gloves was like rain. The water was dropping as I took off them. I barely can work if there's too much sweat in them. The only way was to take them off and dry them with tissues at once. I think this work would be terminated if I couldn't bear the discomfort of the gloves. Because there's no way I could do without it. I didn't know why I felt so exhausted after returning to this building. The one who took the shift for me didn't clean thoroughly as I did. I had to do it all over again in person. As much as I wanted to quit badly, I continued doing the work. It's the true meaning of tolerance, now I know.

Tansui

2008-01-07T20:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know it's a part of the deal to take over someone's shift in somewhere else. I was not pleased with the task at first to be honest. However, on second thoughts, it's a good chance to take a little trip to Tansui on a weekday. It took me more than one hour to take the bus and the MRT. It's longer than I expected. The destination was Tansui Land Office. Interestingly enough, most of government organizations are located at Zhong Zheng Road. Right behind their back is Tansui River. Which means they can view the scenery every day. How lucky these guys are! I envied them. However, I doubt how many public servants would have the mood to enjoy it. Anyway, I was taking a stroll along the old streets, and noticed that there were loads of fancy coffee shops by the riverside. The weather was fine, and the tourists were few. Quite and sunny, it's the day I liked. I could image how carefree it is to be able to enjoy good food and beautiful view with closed friends in one of the shops in one leisure afternoon. I think I'll do it some time.

Further

2008-01-06T18:00:00.001+08:00

I was having good spirits in the first two hours, and in the mood for sleeping when the night was getting deeper and deeper. It's one of the two nights I could talk with T. I'm glad to meet him through the net if there's no need to burn the midnight oil. Unfortunately, he's apt to do it every day. That's why I quit last night because he kept me waiting too long and didn't explain why. In order to keep him company, I drank two cups of coffee. I would have told him how much I missed him this week. Instead of that, I said the secrets that I'd not told before. Since he'd known my looks, there seemed nothing to be hidden anymore. Since when a part of me wants our relationship to get a bit further? That means to make the thing real. We'd talked about it many times, but nobody mentioned the precise time. I can sit and wait him to come, alternatively, to go and see him in person. I don't know how he would act should I tell him the idea.

The perfect time

2008-01-05T22:01:00.001+08:00

I couldn't remember how we started to get together. It's the fate or connection that make us keep in touch all the time. This Saturday is the perfect time to meet friends. I need not only a weekend but also good friends of mine to help me to temporarily forget the exhaustion of the work. Believe it or not, I regained the energy by the time I knew that I was going to see three of them. It doesn't matter where we go or what we talk. I don't mind being a listener as well. In fact, that's what I act during the time. Generally, three of us meet at noon, and have lunch and afternoon tea, then join the other one to have dinner and evening tea. There seem so many topics we can talk. The range from work, families, health to retirement life, which we're going to face in the near future. It's the good point of being with the ones who are older than I. They would tell me something I should notice in coming years.

Home addict

2008-01-04T21:03:00.001+08:00

To be honest, I almost use up my strength to walk home at the noon break everyday. I should have saved it for the rest of the day. However, I have to return home to take a break because home gives me the courage to face the coming tough hours. It's the only comfort I want during the time. Though one hundred twenty, there are only another fifteen minutes for me to make good use of. I can't describe how relaxing I am at the moment I get home, where is like an oasis after walking through a big dry desert. I feel at ease no matter what I do. Mostly, I'm browsing the Internet or lying in the bed to enjoy the peace for a while. There's no place like home. So, it's a torment for me every time to leave home for work. It's hard to believe that the longer I leave home, the eager I want to go home.

In love

2008-01-03T18:05:00.001+08:00

"Have you fallen in love?" "Of course, I have. Why do you ask?" "Because I've never fallen in love. I was married when nineteen. There's no chance for me to experience romance." "So, you're married through a matchmaker." "That's right."...I didn't know what to say. She has almost everything, a husband, a child, a family but love. Is it of importance to be in love? Honestly, I didn't tell the truth. The fact is that I've afraid of telling others that I've never been in love. I don't even know what love is. I mean the love between a man and a woman. In fact, I dare not to admit that I've never had a real boyfriend in my life. I hate to admit how pathetic I am. There were chances for me to live a different life, but I gave it up. Now it's too late for romance or something like that. Who would like me, not mention to love me?

The first condition

2008-01-02T17:43:00.001+08:00

If I don't use the brain, I use strength. I consider that this is the punishment for which I didn't study hard in my younger years. My alarm clock didn't ring at six thirty, I had to cut out the breakfast time and eat an sandwich on the way to the school. The wind was cold, I wish I could drink a cup of hot soy bean milk, but unfortunately I couldn't. I thought I was just late for five minutes, however, the working time actually began at seven thirty, and end at sixteen thirty. Sounded fair. However, this was the news that I was not very please in the first place. But I doubted I had an alternative since I'd decided to do it. Getting up early is the first condition of being a cleaner. Anyway, the career of a cleaner has begun since this moment. It's probably the simplest work I've ever done. Keep the toilets clean no matter how you do. Everything seemed okay until the last half hour before I went of duty. My body felt exhausted and the toes of my feet hurt. Needless to say, I was not in the mood for doing anything except having a good night sleep. Hopefully, I would get used to it as soon as possible.

The truth

2008-01-01T22:08:00.001+08:00

Friends of mine know that I'm making friends with youngsters through the Internet. What they don't know is someone is falling for me and I feel the same way, too. If he doesn't mind my age, why should I? Sometimes I wish I could tell the truth. However, it's so hard to tell them that I need a man to keep me company. The feeling is getting stronger and stronger as the years go by. They're not the kind who can talk about the topic, and always look at me in a strange way while I'm trying to convince them of which it's not a big deal to befriend young male key pals. Why don't I find someone who is similar to my age. Well, that's a good question. I want me find out the answer myself. It's plain to see that most of them are married, and in a way, they're too old for me. My heart is much much younger than my real age. It's hard to explain but I just can't be with a guy who's not young at heart.

This is the winter

2007-12-31T21:02:00.001+08:00

I took half of the day to review recent entries, and checked the articles once again and posted them all. "Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today." I tried to put down the thought every day, and posted it as fast as I could. That's what I wanted to do with my entry. It's the end of the year, I didn't notice except the freezing cold weather. The cold wind made me a little headache when I went to the market for the noodles. This is the winter! I was finally able to put my thick sweater and coat on. On the other hand, there's nothing people can do during the New Year's Eve except watching the fireworks show, which was grabbing everybody attention. Everybody but me. Neither did I go to the area nor sat in front of the TV to watch the annual show, as usual. I liked watching fireworks, but somehow I was not in the mood tonight. I was not going to share the beginning of the year with anybody, and nobody was actually sharing with me. It comes no stranger that I was sitting quietly by the desk in my room. Nothing stopped me from enjoying the moment alone.

Scratch!!!

2007-12-30T20:10:00.001+08:00

Scratch, the most unbearable thing on the glass is increasing every day due to the girl's inappropriate touch. I even brought a rubber pad to prevent it, however it's carelessly scratched by the girl's nail at the first time I put it under the area of the monitor and keyboard. "Daisy, look what you've done! Please do it no more. I'm begging you." Needless to say, I was furious as finding the new scars. She always says she's sorry and didn't mean it after making mistakes. It's easy to forgive her each time, but what she can't realize is sometimes it's impossible to retrieve the things as they used to be. I know how lonely she is if I don't keep a company with her. Thus, I let her use almost everything of mine. With her carelessness, she breaks and ruins my stuff every now and then. Despite being angry, I can't bear to blame her too much because she's still a little child after all. Besides, the thing that really made me mad was that she's unable to sit still in a chair while playing the games in front of the computer. In fact, she couldn't be still no matter how she's sitting or standing. That is to say she's wiggling her body all the time. She doesn't seem to keep the words "sit still" in mind even though I keep correcting her every time. How frustrated I was by what she's acting today.

Stab the bubble

2007-12-29T18:02:00.000+08:00

Why I couldn't cull one picture from ones that I was taking this afternoon? It's not the wrong clothes I wore, the strange angles I chose, the dim light of the room, and the poor quality of the camera. It's me, myself who had a hideous expression that made the pictures horrible. Even so, I reluctantly picked a few of them for T, who was begging me to see the picture from time to time. This time I've decide not to evade the issue, and to stab the bubble and reveal the truth. He has the right to see the person he is chatting with, the woman he's slightly infatuated with, the one who is hiding behind the screen. Sooner or later, the day would come. And I believe that today would be perfect for the day. I don't care what he would react, astonishment, disappointment, intolerance, disgust, scare or whatever. How easy to kill a guy who's the last male in the planet interested in me. I've just done it.

The first phase

2007-12-28T18:35:00.000+08:00

The first phase of cleaning is over. However, I guarantee that there would be the second and the third. I can't believe that the most of my lifetime has been living with a bunch of junk, the things that I thought I would use but turn out to be space takers. I bought, created, stacked, then give away. Doesn't it sound a bit like the circle of life? So it's the time I take the consequence of buying things at will. Not only do I stop buying luxury items, especially clothes, but carefully add necessities. It's to be regretted that a great deal of money was spent on something that's not very useful. I should have saved more money if I had knew how to control the desire of purchase. Is it the process of being young or the punishment of squander? The yesterday's treasure turns into today's garbage. The more I throw, the more I realize that how simple the life could be.

An illusion

2007-12-27T18:36:00.000+08:00

I hate to say that T is the only guy that I can think of. It's absurd. I've been thinking the day that he comes to me and his young strong body. I'm yearning for the moment we touch to be honest. I've asked once and didn't want to ask again when he would come. I think he will come when the time is right. On the other hand, maybe he's just an illusion, and would never show up in the future. In a way, I don't care because we've not met each other yet. In fact, I don't care whether we could meet or not. My emotion would not go further if the situation has been like this. As much as I want to believe T said that he didn't care too much about people's appearances, I still have no confidence to see him, as usual. The more days I wait, the less youth I have. I don't know how to face him, not mention to be naked in front of him.

The fish bone

2007-12-26T18:04:00.000+08:00

Believe it or not, I had a foreboding when I took the fish into my lunch plate yesterday. The fish bone was quickly stuck in my throat after I had first few bites. I thought it's the experiences I'd had before, therefore didn't pay too much attention to it. I even had a mood to eat a cake, and didn't feel too much pain while I was taking a nap. Everything seemed all right until I finished dinner and found that the fish bone was still there. By using a chopstick to insert my throat and swallowing a piece of toast afterwards, the latter was the method that I googled from the Internet, but in vain. Suddenly it drew on me that the bone would never disappear unless someone could pull it out. There's no one but the doctor can do the job. So I went out to see one right away. Unfortunately, I chose a pediatrician to do the ENT's work. However, he suggested me to go to the municipal hospital. Strangely enough, I was sleeping well in spite of feeling the hurt during the night as I swallowed. That's right. It's still there. I went this morning without having breakfast. I spontaneously said "thank you" as soon as the doctor took the fish bone out of my mouth, with blood on it. This little tiny bone cost me four hundred and sixty in all. What a rip-off!

Paddle her own canoe

2007-12-25T23:44:00.001+08:00

Although the paid is low, the work is simple. It's the cleaning of all toilets of the building, which contains seven on two sides. Because being the one who would probably take the vacancy, I was helping the woman, who is going to quit in the end of the month, to do the work. She was feeling extremely tired because of not having breakfast as well as her backache. Despite being married and having two children, she has to paddle her own canoe right now. Due to lack of supporters, she was poor and in need of money. Nevertheless, she must stop working because of her backache. I doubt what are the marrige and children for? I pitied her, really. The big difference between her and me is I don't have to pay the rent. To my mind, she seemed to use too much strength on cleaning, I mean she didn't know how to do it with an efficient way. As far as I'm concerned, it seems the work I could take, the work I'm capable of doing with my seeming insufficient strength.

The campus

2007-12-24T20:55:00.001+08:00

Neither Y nor me would have thought that I came back to the campus after twenty years. It's no need to tell Y about which I'm going to work in her college because we've been out of touch for a long time. Though I'd tried to reach her for a couple of times, it seemed she had no intention of keeping in touch with me. That's okay, I could understand no matter what the reason is. Besides the name, which is changed into "Taipei Municipal University of Education" by the way, the school seemed to look the same as before. But I know something was different out there. I still remembered at that time I'd often come here to meet her, attend concerts and learn instruments. We had a lot of great times. I believe none of us would erase the friendship from our memories at any rate no matter how long we've not met each other.

So special

2007-12-23T22:27:00.001+08:00

The way he treats me makes him so special. He always cares me more than I care about him. I've never thought I would meet a key pal like him. There's no limit between him and me. Not only do we share secrets but talk things without boundaries. Once I said I wish I were his girlfriend, he said I was. In fact, he thought our relationship was beyond lovers. As much as I know how ridiculous I am to ask him to be my boyfriend. But sometimes I just want to say something sweet and erotic to a guy, one who can accept me as his closed friend, not necessary girlfriend. Now he's got a job. We're only able to talk on weekends. Even so, we still don't do extra things such as calling each other or writing emails. The feeling has been the same as long as we get in touch. I was particularly missing him with tears these nights. How I wish he could be by my side right now.

Repayment

2007-12-22T19:18:00.000+08:00

Let me presume that the duty of taking care of the girl is the repayment for the house. Plus, having time and patience, I'm the perfect person to be a babysitter. In a way, I'm very fond of being with her. The problem is she always taking hours and hours on either watching TV or clicking the mouse. These two machines are very bad for human eyes, especially growing children. She'd rather stay at home than go out for outdoor activities. I'm really worried about her eyes, honestly. But that's another story. I mean, I barely can do anything if the computer is occupied by her, and become irritating if spending a whole day with her. I doubt I have an alternative for her parents are busy with decorating another house. By the way, I was very impressed on which her mother still cooked dinner even if the kitchen seemed to be unable to be normally used.

存在

2007-12-21T21:20:00.001+08:00

就宇宙無垠的觀點而言，人短促的一生幾乎不曾存在。很難相信此時此刻的我並不存在。以此推論，過去、現在或未來，所謂我的存在令人質疑。既然有所實疑，那麼說過的話，做過的事，擁有的，失去的，七情六慾，喜怒哀樂就顯得毫無意義。既然不存在，那麼又何必在乎人情冷暖、歡喜厭惡？目前有沒有工作、桌墊有沒有刻痕，在存在的本質中根本不存在。因為不存在，對死亡亦不必心存恐懼。然而，事實是，此時此刻的我還沒有消失，即使連稍縱即逝的火花還不如，我仍擁有一息。以虛無證明的存在，像是流動的陽光空氣和水，若有似無。閉門造車的日記與無意隨興的照片所存留的雪泥鴻爪，在人永眠的那一刻終將成為廢物與垃圾。即使如此，卻仍無法停止這些無聊的舉動，也無勇氣將之燒毀，因為我還存在。無以為繼的日子，終日飄浮的年歲，寤寐恍惚的沈睡，靜靜等待從虛幻的即逝邁向實質的不存在。我，終將不復存在。

The double size desk

2007-12-20T22:20:00.000+08:00

All of a sudden, I found my desk was double size of a regular one. Why I needed a big desk if there were only a couple of things on it? It's taken too much space I have to say. I think my intention is to have more reading space without sitting in front of the machine. The fact is I'm always doing things on the desk with the computer open. Alternatively, steel and glass made table may be the compensation for not using a decent desk in my schooldays. Now that it's larger than a wooden desk, I'm using the other side as the dinning table. Meanwhile, I noticed that most products of IKEA are designed for big houses. Accessories have less limit for small houses. Which means I have to change my destination because of the size of furniture. However, it's not only thing that I concern. Price, porterage and design are other considerations as well.

The disease

2007-12-19T22:24:00.000+08:00

It may sound ridiculous but I think I'm having a kind of disease of which I'm reluctant to work. According to recent records, I'm incapable of being either a cleaner or a kitchen helper. Though I go to an interview almost every time, I fail to take a job or last to work more than two days. Therefore, I've been a volunteer twice this month. Despite emphasizing that I need money, I'm still living with my own little savings. With this backing, I can enjoy the time of my own. The truth is the more I stay at home, the more I don't want to go out. I feel happiness merely with my messy books and clothes. Now I have more reasons because of the new house. The only regret is I don't have enough money to carry on the life like this. Which means I still have to find a suitable job to fit in with my philosophy of life.

A junk yard

2007-12-18T15:56:00.001+08:00

I was nearly drowned by piles of clothes, and realized how wasteful and hollow I was. This is my first move from upstairs to downstairs in fifteen years. With a storage room like that, I didn't feel that I owned so many clothes in my cabinet. I even had a mirror in it. Maybe it's proper to call it the dressing room. Anyway, it became history when I had to move all the stuff to the new room no matter whether I have a closet to arrange them. Though I would have considered to buy the furniture before the move. Apparently, my plan is forced to be changed again. Besides these, there were books and all kinds of things stacking everywhere. It virtually looked a junk yard. I've never had such a mess before. On second thoughts, in order to save the space, it's the chance to think which are the real things that I should keep.

The move

2007-12-17T16:58:00.001+08:00

From now, my bedroom and study becomes as one, which looks more spacious than two combining together. I've finally been able to use the bathroom alone as well as hear no noise in the morning. That's it. Today is the day for me to move to the new house, which has repaired and decorated for one and a half months, and start a new life for myself. Fortunately, there were only a few steps from the old to the new. Has the decorating time taken that long? Why I feel it like a fraction of a second? I remember that day, we discussed it over the dinner, and now it's finished, one third of the whole project, I presume. W and his wife were doing the first job of destroy and clean. As I could see, it's not easy for ones who have had no experience before. I believe they've learned a lot from it. The second part has immediately started after I cleaned my stuff of two rooms.

Jealousy

2007-12-16T18:04:00.001+08:00

T talked about the thing that he had a good feeling for one of his classmates, who he once had carried a torch before. Without being asked, I voluntarily offered him the ideas of how to get chances to talk to the girl again. After some discussions, I told him that I couldn't give any opinion of it any longer. It's a good thing and I was definitely happy for him though it hadn't started yet. I could hear him talking, but didn't want to be part of it. It's not jealousy or anything like that, I just felt that it's not the thing I should involve in. After that long and tired texting, I stripped off my pants, slipped into my quilt, and thought that T came one night and be naked with me. He is probably the only one who is still willing to do the thing with me. But I wouldn't be disappointed if he shouldn't come or keep his word some day.

Favor

2007-12-15T17:35:00.001+08:00

I guess that my two brothers might owe me something in previous life. Or else they shouldn't repay me so much favor in this life. Although we are siblings, there's no obligation for them to support me all the while. On the contrary, I'm supposed to be the one who has responsibility to take good care of them because I'm the their big sister, and to be the role of the mother since Mom died. It's strange to say so, but, instead of parents, they keep helping me in many ways, especially the financial thing. It seems that there's no way for me to pay them back unless I win a lottery. Sometimes I wish I could do something to show my gratitude to them. Alternatively, I could fully support myself in finance. That's why I aggressively start seeking a job recently.

The lights

2007-12-14T22:03:00.001+08:00

I'd exchanged the lights in IKEA twice today. Once was by myself, the other W took me by motorcycle. In other words, I'd come to IKEA merely for lights for three times. I lost my bearings that's why I asked W to come. I let him did the final choice for me in that he is the one who installs them and knows what kinds would be suitable for the room and the ceiling. Due to the limit of the height and weight, there were only a few designs to be able to be picked up. Most of them were not my liking to be honest. As a result, it seems to me that the two styles W chose were a bit far from my taste. But I was too tired to be there again.'The bulb with a big plastic bowl is for the ceiling of the desk, W offers a rectangle hood for the bed's ceiling by the way, and the three-cup-shape light is for the living room. These are the lights of the house in total besides the kitchen and the bathroom.

Spaceship

2007-12-13T22:14:00.001+08:00

Nine thirty was the time that I got up this morning. I should have slept a bit later. All I felt nothing but exhaustion, as predicted. The response from the owner said that he was not going to pay any wages for my two-days hard work. Now I truly regretted not sending resignation on the first day after coming home. The owner might pay me if I could have at least worked until Friday. But, on the other hand, I just had a hunch that he might sack me before I quit the job myself. If that is the case, I might as well leave the place first. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway. My strength couldn't last that long. I was glad to be able to be back to my own spaceship, and watching the galaxy through the monitor. It feels like it is the all time official job for me.

Ward off

2007-12-12T23:06:00.000+08:00

I couldn't believe that I went to that store again. The only explainable reason is that I didn't want to stay at home to hear the noises as well as smell the odor of paint. However, the noises of the streets were as much louder as the machine of the next door that I tried to ward off. Ironically enough, the time we spent outside was much longer than inside, the time we waited was much more than serviced. It didn't feel good to be standing and doing nothing all day. I found myself exhausted by the time we started cleaning the store. Moreover, I couldn't stand to bend to sweep the floor with my hands. My exhaustion had reached to the top. I just couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get out of there right away. I texted a resignation soon after I got home. I'd wasted two days on nothing again.

Not busy, but tired

2007-12-11T22:19:00.000+08:00

The words "Not busy, but tired" that one of the employee said hit the right nail on the head. First of all, it's intolerant to be wearing the unfitted, bad-designed and ugly uniform. It made me look like a big cloth bag. And the hat kept my hair itching all day. Secondly, the music, one of the kind that I couldn't bear, the oldies of eighty's. This revealed the age of the owner. Undeniably, they are all time classics in most of people's eyes, but not my cup of tea for sure. I would be sick if I would have had to uninterruptedly listen to it twice a day every day. Fortunately, I had time to escape from that terrible sounds, to the outside packed with noises and radio music in the same time. Moreover, I had doubts of what the owner said and did. He said he couldn't create a shop making a lot of money, but that enough to support a family's living. My question is how to support a family's living if a shop can't make money? Despite only thirty customers, more or less, today, he was interviewing new members as if there were three hundreds to be serviced. He's been preparing for his new territory of chain stores in the future without doubt. But, how will he expand the business if this store doesn't have stable customers? I'd been standing in front of the door to tout customers for hours. It turned out that I was feeling tired and boring, and having supper after nine. To be honestly, I didn't know whether I should go tomorrow.

Harsh

2007-12-10T20:50:00.001+08:00

The girl just wanted people's opinions. Why the guy harshly criticized her article ? To my mind, she is by no means a basic learner, and has good command of English. And there were not too many errors in her writing to be honest. In fact, I could barely find any error until the guy pointed out few. What she needed was, as some had suggested, the improvement of the context as well as the construction. I guess the guy must be faint if he had a chance to view my blog. He would probably leave a message of which I should kill myself because of my grammatical errors and poor writing skill. Luckily, I don't need to ask him to view my articles and give me his suggestions. As a matter of fact, I don't know why I'm here to waste my time and space to discuss a person that virtually means nothing to me.

Unpunctuality

2007-12-09T19:29:00.001+08:00

I wonder why I'm waiting here alone? Did I hear the wrong place as well as time? Or if I am in a dream that's why nobody comes. It's true that unpunctuality is not a disease. However, it would kill a person's patience when it happens over and over again. It's a very bad habit in my opinion. As far as I'm concerned, I would be very shameful if I'm unable to be in time for an appointment. It seems like there are always a tons of excuses to make up. Maybe those are facts, but how do you make up the time? Ten minutes are fine, twenty minutes are tolerable, thirty minutes are way too far. That's why I take the iPod with me whenever I go. It's a good way to deal with the predictable situation. Music helps me through impatient hours all the time. After seemingly a century's waiting, the object...I mean...the person finally came. I heard her say a very reasonable excuse. In fact, all I wanted to do was to skip that part and do the thing that we'd plan to do.

After forty

2007-12-08T22:47:00.001+08:00

Like it or not, after forty, a blur of eye sight, baldness, wrinkles and freckles of skin, all these aging conditions, which I'd thought it's only rare chance to come down on me, remind me of which I'm becoming an old woman every day. It's so cruel to see the face fading like a flower, and so natural to become one of the daily thoughts of life. I remember that I've thought more than once that I wouldn't be a person who looked much older than her real age. I'm trying not to be pessimistic but the truth is appearance still counts no matter how old you are. It draws down on me that you couldn't just be young at heart. You have to do everything you could to keep your exterior looks from ugliness. Taking exercises, eating nutritious foods, forming good habits, these are the basic ways of decreasing the speed of aging. Or else, medical surgery is the alternative choice if you have the guts to take risks.

The hope

2007-12-07T20:08:00.001+08:00

I liked the way they presented the foods on their website. But I was fond of their menu and style more when going to the shop in person. Clean, simple, nutritious and economical are the four words that I comment on this restaurant, which between the food stop and the restaurant to be precise. Though having been retired and no particular experience related to it, the owner has the concept of management, and the ambition of opening more chain stores. The employees might have the chance to run the store of their own. Despite the beautiful blueprint he portrays, I just want to be a competent employee if the own hires me. So, the hope, I guess that's the difference between a regular cleaner and a worker of a restaurant.